Earlier this year, Nick and I scoured Ultrasignup, looking for a competitive 50K that we could work towards. Molly’s Whoo’s in El Moro 25/50K (WIEM) fit the bill: it was relatively close to San Diego (Newport Coast), looked beautiful and, best of all, was competitive–which meant that we would by default have to work on our speed, something that both of us needed to do; Nick, to improve upon his 50-mile and 100-mile races, and myself, because I had never worked on speed before and it was showing. I dreaded timed miles, 800m repeats, and anything involving a maintained pace.
What was there to do but work on what I disliked most, in the hopes of liking it a little more (and possible getting a bit faster)?
During the week, I tagged along with Nick as he did everything from 400m to 1km to, yes, 1-mile repeats. On Thursdays, I would struggle to maintain a pace long enough to consider it a tempo run, but I still tried. Saturdays would be longer track workouts anywhere from 8-12 miles.
One weekend, Nick and I tried our hand at a hilly 10K around Poway Lake. Surprisingly, I felt fast and we both finished 3rd male and 2nd female, respectively.
Still, by the time WIEM arrived, I wasn’t entirely sure that my speed would really show in a 50K, especially not amongst a field of athletes with far more experience and far better results than myself. Still, we made a weekend trip out of it, gathered at the start line and hoped for the best.
And maybe that’s what went wrong. Hoping, rather than actually believing.
With the confidence of the 10K in my mind, I decided to try to keep up with the front pack of females. For the first few miles I trailed behind Lindsey Tollefson, (who would place 1st female and an impressive 6th overall). That was the last I saw of her, however, as I eventually dropped back to 4th, holding a comfortable 5th female for the majority of the race. However, as people passed my from miles 3-10, I had two impending feelings: one, that I didn’t really care that I was being passed and two, I wanted to be done.
This is not the feeling you want to have when running a 50K. At least, it’s not the feeling I wanted to experience for the next 21 miles.
That’s not to say that I didn’t want to be there: I did. Molly’s race is amazing, from its immaculate organization to the beautiful course winding around El Moro State Park, with mountains ahead and the stunning Pacific ocean behind you (only to switch positions at the turn around), to the awesome, welcoming runners and invaluable volunteers! I loved all of it…but my heart wasn’t in the competitive aspect of the race and to work towards a specific race and not feel that push was disappointing. For the majority of the race, I carried forth negative thoughts (which in hindsight were silly), tossing them around and around. Down the pebbly trail, meandering along the single track, slogging up the climb. I was followed by a raincloud I had created myself. (For further clarification, check out this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8qYaSAMHHY).
And although this negatively stuck around until the end of the race, there were some high points that I remember with a smile: giving a high five to Nick when he passed me going the opposite direction at the turnaround, meeting Billy Yang and Sally McRae and getting some words of encouragement from them before the long descent, seeing the ocean just a half-mile away from the turnaround (a friendly tease), the support of fellow female runners and, best of all, having both my mom and Nick waiting for me at the finish.
I finished 7th female, 18th overall, with a time of 5:00:19 ( I was trying so hard to cross sub-5!).
So, what did I learn?
That I can work on speed all I want, but if my mindset isn’t positive, it could all be for naught! My future goals include starting to incorporate more meditation and gratitude lists. Not just for running, per say, but in all aspects of my life–to aim to look at each moment as an opportunity, as a chance to flip the coin, as a way to say, “Hey, you! Most of the time, life is pretty sweet.”
Or, as my mom likes to say, “life is a glass half-full.” And let hope’s that glass is filled with kombucha.
hello Jade, loved reading this and then the last part about meditation and gratitude list and looking at each moment as pure joy…I have just started reading a book called a thousand gifts by Ann somebody or another and it is about writing 1000 things you are grateful for…..oh my it just gets better and better…and the more you become aware the more things just pop out in front of you that you have seen a million times but now you see them differently. Try it, I hope you have fun with it too…….
FrannieX new the ultra running world to!